EPIC FAIL

Vegemite is described on the Kraft food website as a “tasty spreadable paste made from brewer’s yeast”.In Terry Pratchett’s ‘The Last Continent’ it is better described as a “salty-tasting beery brown gunk.”

It’s a thick, black paste that will provide a valuable source of vitamin B in the post-apocalyptic landscape because:
every home has a jar;
it doesn’t need to be refrigeration;
I suspect it is largely immune to radiation; and
it is so salty that only extremophiles can survive in it so it will never go off.

The name was chosen in a national contest in 1923 and somehow it has so insinuated itself into the Australian cultural landscape that an ability to eat it on toast was considered a defining characteristic of being Australian, even though it is now owned by the big American food giant KRAFT.

Given such iconic status you’d think you’d be more careful how you treat the brand. Sinc
July this year Kraft sent out three million jars with the label “name me” and asked the public to send in their idea for the new Vegemite & cream cheese mix mmm YECH. 50,000 entries were received. A website posted the names and people began to generate the sort on-line buzz that suggested KRAFT had understood the new media and social networking.

and then KRAFT decided that the name would be

No really

the public went ballistic.

So in an effort to stem the firebombings they have now gone with VEGEMITE CHEESYBITE.

However with the internet, like Cuthulu do not call up that which you cannot put down.

Which has led to the following.

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19 Comments

  1. Online social media contests like that are the kind of thing that we do a lot of here where I work. With 50,000 entries, it sounds like Kraft's ad agency did a bang-up job of it.

    However, iSnack 2.0 is probably the most ridiculous name for a food there is. Then again, just the fact that these people are eating the abomination known as vegemite calls their intelligence into question as it is. :oP

  2. "are eating the abomination known as vegemite" but this is Vegemite with CREAM CHEESE.

  3. ROFL. I'm not sure Cheesyscrote is any better a name than iSuck2.0. Either way it's a Godawful name for a Godawful idea.

  4. That’s as brilliant as iSnack 2.0 is stupid.

    • No arguement from me on that

  5. This is what you get when you get people who know NOTHING about the iconic nature of the product trying to make Vegemite 'hip', or something.

    The shit's nasty. It's useful for nothing other than toast, or varying derivatives of bread stuff, but it sits firmly planted in our psyche as a spread.

  6. I’m eating a vegemite sandwich whilst I read this at my desk in Public Service Purgatory. Just thought you’d like to know.

    • Don;’t you suffer enough having to work in the Public Service

      • The pain is alleviated each fortnight when I get paid. But returns a day later when I am broke. Oh you mean the vegemite sanga? Hey! I like vegemite!

        Mind you if I want a flashback to my childhood in the form of a cheese and vegemite sandwich, I’ll add the cheese manually. Be fucked if I’d buy ‘iVegemtie 2.1’ or whateverthefuck name they come up with.

  7. According to The Onion’s ‘Dumb Atlas of the World’, the Cape York Peninsula contains Australia’s famous Vegemite Mines, where the product is evidently refined from the surrounding rocks.

    Of course, being from a hick town in the interior of America, the first most of us ever heard of Vegemite was from Men at Work’s ‘Down Under’. Nobody knew what it was until someone in the media explained it. I still don’t understand why anyone would eat the stuff. We do have Marmite here, but it doesn’t exactly fly off the shelves.

    • In fact Marmite is the less objectionable version of the spread. The idea was to make a uniquely Australian spread. I don’t recall readin anything in ti about having to taste like Ass.

      The Onion, a marvelous source of disinformation. I loved their recent peice which announced “that Western civilization will reach its lowest conceivable point at 3:32 p.m. Sept. 25, 2009 a Friday” when

      “….. a tourist, believing the impressive structure to be a giant mall, will enter Chicago’s Museum of Contemporary Art, and, not finding what he is looking for, ask where “the damn Radio Shack is supposed to be.”
      The man, dressed in Crocs and sweatpants and determined by researchers to be the final catalyst in humanity’s epic downfall, will then loudly expel gas…”

      magic stuff

  8. Bad idea or brilliant marketing ploy, either way it has managed to get everyone talking about vegemite, hasn't it? Kraft would be very happy.

  9. Moko's pretty right..for a change.

    But really which gastronomic philistine thought of vegimite and cream cheese? Err wheres havock? HAVOCK was THIS your idea?

  10. Dr Yobbo
    I think I prefer your suggestions

    Moko
    You so right, how did this end up the national spread

    Domestic Daze
    I think you may be right, any marketing fail this spectacular you have to suspect it was planned from the start. Part of the any publicty is good publicity school.

    Chazfh
    "Where's Havock?" where he always is, in our hearts.

  11. The 'I' prefix has permeated just about a million different products over the last few months. Says a lot about the new generation does it not?

  12. I've always associated the name with vegetable termites. NOT enticing.

    Hilarious clip! How bout calling it Shmegmamite? What's wrong with that?

  13. I'm going to change my name to iBigBadAl.

    Might have to cover myself with cream cheese.

  14. NatalieV,
    Just remember it is generation i that will be choosing the nursing homes we die in. Doesn’t bode well does it.

    Heidi Germanaus
    “vegetable termites” spread – trust me that couldn’t taste worse.

    BigBadAl
    Great to have you on board iBigBadAl

  15. “Nuther thing iV 2.0 does is light up the CTX apparatus at airport security. Gives the younger son carrying it back to Canadia a bit of a start and an unexpected initiation into some of the less palatable uses of blue examination gloves.


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