We eat every part of the Hammerhead Titanothere

Last week GuruBob, Gentleman Jonathon and the Artist known as KPM caught up and along with fine dinning (try the shredded pig) and some L4D2 action (Crap we’re all dead AGAIN) we went see AVATAR or as some have quipped ‘Dances with Space Wolves’.

This is completely untrue as it is much closer to the Disney story of Pocahontas as you can see here. Not the real story of Pocahontas where she marries a white guy, goes to England, tries to return home and dies of illness.

Others have provided their take on the film, click on each for their full review

Chazfh – Sherlock Holmes was better and more original,

Moko –Spectacular,

PNB in spite of the near naked blue chicks found the 3D annoying, and

I am looking forward to Flintheart’s take on this one as he provids insights which I never pick up on but once he mentions them the little epiphany light bulb goes off above my head, like his analysis of Indiana Jones as a force of nature.

The movie has made elephant bucks and given James Cameron’s last outing TITANIC also made elephant buck as well this guy will no doubt get the green light to do what ever he wants for his next film. He has already said he considering a sequel. I bet he won’t be using the one mapped out by The Rhino here

“You do realize that the Nav’i only have approximately 14 to 16 years to live after the end of the movie don’t you?…if I was the Corporation guy I would just sit back and pummel them with kinetic weapons from orbit.”

Whatever eventuates we must STOP James Cameron from choosing the song to play over the closing credits. For Titanic it was ‘My heart will go on’ by Celine Dion and for Avatar it was ‘My heart will go on and on again’ by Leona Lewis or that’s what it sounded like to me.

Some commentators such as Armond White of the New York Press have claimed it misrepresents the facts of militarism, capitalism, imperialism — and their comforts. Australia’s Miranda Devine and Greg Sheridan are expectably annoyed by the “anti-American” or “anti-Western” message. University of Newcastle’s Hamish Ford has written a more nuanced reading click here where identifies the movie as “Towing the familiar liberal line, for the “other” to be “good” they must need one of us to save them.”

The Nav’i live in harmony with their forest moon world (anyone else wanted to shout Ewok at this point) where they spend their days running, jumping, flying and mindfracking the local wildlife. It is such a noble, idyllic life that some AVARTARDs are suffering depression at the thought that they can’t live on Pandora. Over at Naviblue.com – James Cameron’s Avatar Movie Fan Site this was posted.

“Ever since i (sic) went to see Avatar i have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I cant stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers i got from it. I even contemplate suicide thinking that if i do it i will be re birthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in Avatar.. I cant find joy in this world since Ive seen it, and the only thing that makes me happy is thinking about it or when im seeing it next, which is Saturday at the imax.. I doubt anyone will understand the feelings I’m having..but if you are..tell me..”

Frak me

Being trapped on Pandora for me would be a nightmare. There can be no sense of change or development. I can imagine for the past 1000 years the Nav’I doing exactly the same thing. Obviosuly not for the next 100 years, see above. That’s not a thriving, dynamic culture, that’s a dead end. For me a world greatest achievements come from what is overcome and accomplished. Managing to ride a big bird contrast with flying across interstellar space. That sense of learning, discovery and boundless horizons. So it was the science team who wanted to explore this planetary network that I was rooting for, not the nav’i.

And I have to say Colonel Miles Quaritch was pretty fraking hard-core!

So I think AVATAR will be remembered like ‘The toll of the sea’ the first feature film in colour or ‘The Jazz Singer’ the first talking movie.


  1. Mmmmm boobies.

  2. Why have I had ZERO desire to see this movie? No seriously, I need to know.

  3. Dude.

    I’m afraid I’m gonna disappoint you. I just saw Avatar, and frankly, I can’t bring myself to assassinate it in depth. Seriously: any thoughtful, analytical review of the piece would bring to bear more intelligence and depth than all three hours and umpty-ump million bucks that Cameron spent.

    It was awfully pretty. And it was hot outside, so the air-con was nice. Oh — and you’re right, the main actors did their damnedest with the thinnest, most pathetic piece of scripting I’ve seen outside a Troma production. (Whaddya think Sigourney Weaver thought of her “Nude Scene With Inexplicable Vine Leaves For Modesty”? Is there an Oscar category for that?)

    A challenge: pick any part of the film that WASN’T techno-visual, and I’ll tell you precisely why it was bullshit. I’m still reeling with cognitive dissonance. How can a film be on one hand so visually astonishing, and on the other, so incredibly banal? How do you spend so very much money on shiny stuff, and then forget practically every element of basic storytelling and film-making?

    BTW: you are SO right about the end-credit song. I walked out, shepherding the boys, thinking — holy shit, is that Celine Dion again? And is she STILL holding that same fucking note from Titanic?

  4. Yes the Colonel was probably one of the better characterisations, reminds me of a Living steel characater I had once, who sprayed a whole lot of lycans with his flechete AR and then used the grenade launcher on them when they got in close. To make sure.

    being trapped on the planet would be fine as long as you had air and a big rifle.. or maybe a mech say a Marauder.

  5. Hey Barnes – I am so with you on the Avatar world as a "dead end".There was something nagging me about it, beyond just not really enjoying the whole 3D thing – and eventually I realised that there is no development in the Na'vi world. Sure, it's a really nice world, but everything appears to have been done.The only point of difference of the Na'vi were the ones who lived elsewhere on the planet who came to the first tribe's assistance against the humans.So I'm left with the conflict of choice between a nourishing, symbiotic, peaceful world where nothing really advances – or a world of technology and development that's morally bankrupt and fierce.Can't we just have BOTH? 😉

  6. 如果你不思考未來,你便不會有未來........................................

  7. Not that this is at all relevant to your post, but was that you commenting (as barnesms) to today's article on the Chronicle of Higher Ed. regarding the "He-Cession" ? Just wondering…

  8. MokoLook they help, but they can't carry an entire film.Heidi This is becasue you have excellent tasteGirl Clumsy thanks for the thoughtful response, I am chuffted you thought the same thing. I think we can have the best of both worlds, just we wont see it is such a straight forward binary film like AVATAR.IntelliwenchNot me per say, but sometimes my_reason_for_living and I jump onto the computer without first logging out of our own individual Avatars. So if the comment was intelligent, insightfull, clever and bespeaking a staggering breath of knowledge then it was probably her.

  9. Marauder


  10. Have not seen this one yet. I thought Titanic was crap and don't trust Cameron to do anything aside from shoot some effects and build mega hype.

  11. Therbs then you wouldn't be dissappointed

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