Warning this post will contain clowns

The_weapon is going up from the cub scouts to the scouts in the first week of next year. He could have gone up sooner but since they will be loosing me as a leader form cubs to scouts they wanted to hang on as long as possible.

The 2nd badge he will earn is scoutcraft. It requires him to be able to demonstrate a bunch of stuff:

 Learn and be able to demonstrate the following knots: 
a) reef knot
b) clove hitch 
c) sheet bend 
d) rolling hitch.

2. Flag
a) Describe the Australian flag and how to use it. 
b) Hoist the flag.
c) Break the flag.

3. First aid
a) Know how to report an emergency.
b) Know the first steps to control bleeding.

4. Safety with camping tools
a) Know the laws that govern the carrying and use of  knives in your state or territory.
b) Know and understand the safety rules for the use and storage of knives, bush saws and axes.
c) Demonstrate an understanding of the rules that apply to the supply and use of firewood in camping areas in your state or territory.
d) Demonstrate the use of a pocketknife or multi-tool.

5. Patrol System
a) Discuss with your Patrol Leader the requirements of the Pioneer Target or other appropriate Target of the Award Scheme.
b) Discuss with your Patrol Leader how the Patrol system operates in your Troop, e.g. election of Patrol Leader, appointment of APL, responsibilities and operation of Troop Council.

c) Show an understanding of the structure and duties of the Patrol.

all good scouty stuff.

It got interesting when the_weapon started to investigate the laws around knives, we could have just consulted an expert but instead we checked out the police and department of Justice.  There is a perception that violence involving knives is on the increase. Consequently in Victoria laws were passed to crack down on knife violence. From the Department of Justice’s website FAQ

Stabby the clown

It is an offence to possess, carry or use a knife or other controlled weapon unless you have a lawful excuse. A lawful excuse can include carrying a knife for the purposes of your job, or when participating in lawful sport, recreation or entertainment activities, for example when fishing. 
Carrying a knife for the purposes of self-defence is not a lawful excuse.

The_weapon has read all this material and to explain it to his patrol leader put it like this,

“If I am a small kid getting picked on by a bully at school everyday and in fear of my life and I carry a life that’s a crime. If the police stop and search me and I tell them that I am the side kick to Stabby the knife throwing clown that’s okay.”

Can’t argue with that sort of reading comprehension.




  1. Well done to The Weapon. That’s the problem. Lawful excuse, I’m pretty right as a self employed tradesman. Also I carry a multi tool with a non locking blade, legal. As the blade is inherently unsafe I carry a locking blade to replace it. Still iffy. Then again there’s the 200mm flat blade screw driver in a pocket, my belt, four way cabinet key and keys for starters. Let’s not start on what’s in the car.

  2. LOL! What a funny AND logical kid. There's no way they kind find holes in his reasoning. Thanks for the "clown" warning though. They scare the mess outta me!

  3. I meant no way they CAN find holes….I should never comment after only one cup of coffee. Doh!

  4. No worries I am the same on anything less tha six coffees

  5. Thats why you are linked as the expert

  6. To my way of thinking, NOT carrying a weapon for self-defense purposes seems odd.

    However, since I come from the land of readily available firearms, I won’t comment further. Your country, your laws. When in Rome, do as the Romulans do…

    Good luck to The Weapon-hope he makes the transition to Boy Scout. Perhaps he’ll make Eagle Scout or your equivalent someday.

  7. Nice one – Stabby the clown. So, using the guvmint's logic, Jack the Ripper's ownership of a knife was legal.Hmmmm..

  8. YD: most people who like to carry knives ‘for self-defense’ haven’t got a real clue as to how to use them. And if they did, they wouldn’t carry them, because they’re fairly shitty weapons in terms of self defense. A short stick is much more effective and flexible in its application.

    You can kill pretty easily with a knife if you know what you’re doing. Unfortunately, you can also kill easily by accident. Using a knife to discourage, control or overpower an attacker in a fashion guaranteed not to kill is quite difficult. Ergo: knives are a stupid choice for self defense.

    I’m not even going to discuss the brainlessness of a handgun for ‘self-defense’. There’s really only one use for a handgun, and if that’s your choice for ‘self-defense’, it instantly turns all situations into full-on life and death struggles. Most self defense situations are nothing of the sort, nor should be.

    The last time I was in a ‘self-defense’ situation, the correct answer was to smile at the drunk, threatening man who’d frightened an entire pub full of people, and tell him cordially that I couldn’t understand a word he was saying, so I was going to get myself a drink, if he didn’t mind.

    And of course, when I put it that way, he didn’t mind. He blinked, wandered off, and left me in peace.

    I can only imagine what kind of stupid disaster would have followed if I’d pulled out a weapon to threaten him.

  9. Flags have a ‘use’ value? And here’s me thinking the things are only good for hanging limply from poles–If I’d only been a scout I could have had the damn things making me coffee.

  10. I’d love to be able to disagree with Flinthart’s statement. Nup. A knife is useful tool, but a poor choice as go to item for defence. I’d prefer a chain, but as Flinthart aptly demonstrates far better to think and talk.

  11. Dirk: Where does it end, though? You can outlaw guns. People start using knives. You can outlaw knives. People start using clubs. You can outlaw clubs. And it goes, on and on. Doesn’t stop the violence, though. Guy here stopped a robbery at his pizza place by using the big pizza spatula. One could possibly argue for outlawing pizza spatulas if the robber had been hurt badly or killed.

    If someone wants to do malice, they can pick up about anything and do it. You should know that. You have skills enough to not pick up anything and cause harm should you do so.

    Just not sure about the efficacy of ANY weapon regulation. However, note that I’m not criticizing Australia’s law. Like I said, it’s your house and your rules. If it generally works there, fine by me.

    And I wouldn’t use a handgun to defend myself. A shotgun works so much better, and I can hunt with it. Handguns aren’t worth much except for getting into trouble with.

    • My God! They haven’t outlawed those incredibly dangerous pizza spatulas in the USA yet? What is it — the Dark Ages over there?

      I can see we’re on the same page regarding handguns. Laws and bans… they work well in some countries. (Like this one.) You’re quite right: I can pick up most items and put them to fairly lethal use. (Okay, yeah, a loofah is tricky. But doable. If you can get your victim’s mouth open.)

      Thing is, most people don’t have the same skillset. Nor even the same mindset. They don’t look at, for example, a violin and think: whoa, four garottes – and that scrolly end would work well as a yawara!

      In the heat of the moment, people will pick up almost anything, yeah. But you know: the difference in the damage they can do if they pick up a large knife versus the damage they can do with a random piece of scenery is kind of significant.

      It’s about the mindset, though. People who carry knives as weapons are thinking of them as weapons, which is what you really want to change. And that won’t work, because you can always carry a sharp screwdriver, right?

      But overall, I think the point is about trying not to create a culture of weapons carrying and weapons use. Far too late for your country, but not for this one.

  12. Stabbie's side-kick, genius. Yeah, I used to know those knots and that flag stuff. As far as the Patrol was concerned we tended to concentrate on whatever contraband we could smuggle in.

  13. If Qld ever adopts those laws I may be in trouble. Do sabres and cutlasses count? Mighty fine boy you got there. Careful he doesn't go into law though.

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